'Life is to be lived. If you have to support yourself, you had bloody well better find some way that is going to be interesting. And you don't do that by sitting around."
Days like this make me remember how much I hate being here. I want to move on. I want to let go. I want everything that is just out of reach. I wish she was here to hold our hands and smile gently. An encouraging nod and some honest words exchanged. Then a little shove in the right direction. There are days I feel so lost, no direction or motivation. All honest conversations drowned out by the ridiculous movements of day to day. Small moments that become so much a part of my life. I miss the laughter that easily would come. I knew this would hurt and yes, it really does, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept. Im hurting. Plain and simple. I need someone to hold me and shake some sense into me. I need some help but no one really can, can they? I have to do this alone. Yes, some advice from my oh so worldly friends and family, but in reality, I'm on my own now, completely. I need to move on. I need to grow just a little more but I feel like a little girl in her mothers heels. I'm so scared, so tired. I'm not mad nor am I sad. Just apathetic and that is never much fun. I need some excitement or a distraction or just something to push me harder. I'm stuck.
I'm going to run. Run far, alone or not, I don't choose to care. Where? No where far. Maybe where the wild things are.
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