It isn't telling me anything, just making me more confused.

The room was fogged over. A dim light was illuminating the corner of the bar. Its attempt to show the occupants their misdeeds was ignored and shoved into the smallest area of the place. I was sitting in a chair that was at least 30 years old and must have been of a service to thousands of customers. I felt its power working over me as I listened to the cover band for Billie Holiday. The Billie was adding a twist to her predecessor's haunting melodys and I was disappointed but also elated to get a fake if not small taste of the 40's jazz era. I look older than I really am, sitting alone at a small table in a small bar in a big city. The notes from the band floated over me as I sat there, waiting for nothing to happen, waiting to go home and be comfortable again. I'm so uncomfortable as I sit there, being ogled by men, envied by women and so alone. The bar is just a mirage as I am transported to the room I so wish to occupy, a younger image of myself appears. Happy, smiling, thinking of all the things that had happened with her today. She didn't fall. She wasn't sad today. She was happy to see me as I skipped up to the house. Her smile made me smile and that was all I needed. She comes into my room, all smiles gone and tells me that we are going for a ride. My older self tries to scream "NO!" but I go because I wanted to make her happy again. I'm pulled away again, taken to a field of nothing. The sky above me is the clearest blue with no clouds. The landscape is dry as bone but strangely furtile. Activity is all around as long as you look beyond the barren land. The wind whispers around my shoulders, distrubing strands of hair and pushing me in a direction towards a mountain in the distance. I start the trek towards it but stop. A whisper in my ear makes me turn around to nothing. A voice that I cannot understand on the surface but once it soaks into my spirit, I know the truth. My heart turns to ice and cracks. My eyes refuse to give up the tears that so long to be released. My body goes numb. I push on towards the mountain, past the creatures that give encouragment without words. I wont be taken again until I reach the mountain. The mountain with no discernable distance.

A dream. It keeps repeating.