Every step that I have taken has brought me to this moment in time. A lot has changed this summer. A lot of mistakes and a lot of hidden meanings. All the things that I do today are going to affect me tomorrow and the day after that and into the unknown future. Everything has a consequence, some bigger than others. Many would say that I am a dumb girl for the things I have done. I am not dumb, just growing up. I hit a big bump in my quest to loose it. The big bump is that I lost it. The ironic thing is that it was with the person I never thought it would actually be with. Of course I had hoped but never really thought it would be him. I am glad it was him. There are no strings and I trust him, which may show to be a detrimental thing one day but I'll worry about that another day. It happened almost like a movie, except there would be a different rating on this one than R and the ending was a bit unpredictable. I had fun and that is all a girl can ask for her first right? My close friends think that I should be reacting to this differently, that my feelings for him would grow deeper. In reality, he has changed from the mythical guy of my dreams to the real person he has become. We both have grown up and I think thats what made it so easy for me to come to grips with. We aren't meant to be for the rest of our days and that made it much more simpler and less heart wrenching. With my quest in its final stages, I am dealing with the consequences of my choices and so far they are not that bad. A few blushes, a couple giggles and a knowing sense that, finally, I can move on.
