Her Dream

The icy fingers of the wind were pulling her along towards the edge. Their strength grew as she struggled and pulled to stay on firm ground. With the grasping wind whipping around her ankles, she had no hope to break free until she got to the very edge of the cliff. Peering over the rocks, she saw a group of people waiting at the edge of the shore, beckoning her to join them. Her heart stopped as she recognized one of them. Her mother. Tears threatened to break as she tried to remember her true form, not the one she was seeing right now. Gone were the kind blue eyes and warm smile. Gone the tight embrace and soft spoken words. In its place was a closed woman of strange proportions. Hunched over and a terror of unspoken lengths, the woman was trying to get her to jump over the cliff that loomed before her. The tears pooled in her eyes and spilled like tiny buds on a blooming tree. Fearing the worst, she attempted to break the hold of the wind but couldn't move even one muscle, stuck in a limbo of time and fear. A rock slipped under her left foot and she stumbled onto her knees, staring at the woman she knew was her mother. Her heart pounded as she willed her mind to remember her devoid of the haze of disappointment, anger and regret. More tears fell as she glanced at the ground beneath her. The top of the cliff was covered in grasses and sprinkled with daffodils and she was staring straight into the center of a crushed bloom. Its petals strewn across the landscape, it silently mourned its passing and asked her why things happened this way. She paused and said "Because it has too. We all die. We all are moving on a wisp of wind that takes us wherever we must go and we have to let it. Fighting the push and pull of the wind will only make us more angry and disappointed in the things we don't let happen. Courage is the foundation on which we must move on." With that statement now floating on her path, she finally understood that the wind would mover her whether she tried to fight it or not. Letting go of her inhibitions, she jumped and fell.

Introduction to the Beast

She awoke to the quiet fall of snow on the already covered mountain. Her eyes slowly opened to reveal multiple pairs staring straight into her own. Tentatively sitting up, she asked him what everyone was staring at and he responded "You were dreaming out loud. Its something we never do and have never seen done before. You spoke of a world of heat and sand, great large animals moving across an enormous stretch of land. Where are you from?" The question itself instilled fear within her heart and a great sadness overcame her features, "I have no idea where I am from. That must have been my imagination, because I don't even know what sand looks like and I cannot remember for the life of me the feeling of heat on my skin." This made the group pause and shift at the same time. A tremor of curiosity accelerated through them and unspoken questions were flitting through their minds as they pondered the girl they had rescued. A few moments later, the assumed leader pulled her up and stared straight into her eyes, as if trying to read her soul. Fortunately, what he saw was appeasing and he released her and started to clean up the camp from the night before. They had been walking up the mountains for eight days now and she had no idea where they were headed. Her friend kept by her side and at any turn of trouble, he pushed her behind him and continued on. Their friendship had evolved to the point of comfortable silence and peace with each other. Although only a short time had passed and only one name was known between the two of them, their souls had been entwined from the beginning of time and had finally been merged. He called her "his little lontala" which he never explained the meaning.
The further they pressed into the mountains, the more her mind fogged over. Starting over from the age she supposed was 20 was more difficult than she had thought. Her whole life had been erased either on purpose or accident and she had no idea the occurance but she did remember one thing, piercing blue eyes filled with tears and a great unyeilding saddness. Those eyes haunted her and when she went to sleep, she tried to remember but nothing ever made sense within her dreams. There was always something trailing behind her, a great beast that never made it known that it was with her but was always there. Even during the day, she felt its prescense. Always following her, the great beast was the one constant in her life; a shadow that wasn't necissarily dark or ominous but at the same time a haunting reminder of her indistinct dreams. Where was the path she was following? Turning to her friend, she moved closer to his side and grasped his hand, the one place she felt safe and assured. The beast was still there, always watching and in a strange show, protecting her. They trugdged on through the mountains to the place of unknown qualities and small wings of hope began to flutter within her.

Pride mixed in with a stubborn twist.

I want a man in my life, but it seems no one is up for the job. Am I too intimidating for the ones of the opposite sex, who are supposed to be in my range? Do I laugh to loud, express my opinion too much, make stupid comments left and right? Yes, but shouldn't some one find that appealing? I promised myself a long time ago to never change for someone, and so far, I have kept to that bargain but damn does it get annoying. I want someone to want me. I need someone to need me. Can anybody find me someone to love? I guess, I have been listening to my itunes too much. I'm just bummed that this guy isn't interested in me. I mean I am but that dosn't mean he is. And I do have some pride when it comes to things like this so I am not going to be calling him every three days to see if maybe he would want to hang out. Also, I have a suspicious feeling he is avoiding me, which adds insult to injury but whatever. There are more fish in the sea, other mountains to climb (if you know what I mean) and all those other analogies that are supposed to make girls feel better but actually make them more aware of the fact that he is just not into you. Bummer man.